Jon & Kate--Who cares?

I don't watch a lot of reality TV. Other than "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" the reality shows hold no interest for me at all. When I watch EMHE I know I'm going to get a happy ending. Call me shallow, but I don't need to watch what often is a look into other people's misery. Or infidelity. Or ruthlessness. Or arrests. My friend Kristi just blogged on the apparently impending demise of the marriage of Jon and Kate, another show I don't watch and could tell you nothing about. Apparently they are putting their kids in front of each other, and that is a recipe for disaster. I have been guilty over the years a few times of putting my relationship with Jen and Tim before my relationship with Jan, always with disastrous results. Even worse were the times I put other people's children (0ften my athletes) in front of all 3. Someone very smart once said, "The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." So that's what I try to do.
In addition to the things Kristi pointed out, one other truth seems evident to me--marriages were not meant to be lived in the spotlight. That's not exactly a "stop the presses" revelation. But here are these two seemingly nice people, who have children they love, all the money they need, a new house and yet it's not working. I think of the young couples I have gotten to know in our church, all of whom are missing at least one of the things J & K have. Their history includes houses they can't sell, foreclosures, living from paycheck to paycheck, job-induced separation, and unanswered prayers to start a family. What DO they have that J & K don't have? An obvious and unashamed desire to be with each other. When they are separated, their FB posts are full of "waiting for him/her to get home." They look forward to being reunited. Homes like J & K look forward to separation.
Here's a challenge--name a successful marriage that includes one or both spouses frequently on the cover of tabloids. If Jan and I have a disagreement, the chances of resolution increase exponentially with the number of people who know about it. Every time we have sought 3rd-party counseling--including pastors--more problems were created than solved. In "The American President" the climactic scene includes Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas) saying, "America isn't easy." My paraphrase would be either, "Marriage isn't easy,", or, better yet, "Without God, marriage is impossible." He's the only 3rd party that has worked for us.
So, my unsolicited advice to Jon & Kate? Kick the cameras out of the house. Return your marriage to a relationship, not a performance. At that point, whether your marriage makes it or fails is nobody else's business. Certainly not mine.
(Thanks to KT for triggering this pontification. Heidi, it's the best I got right now!)