More Than a Test Score

I've spent the last few years with a rather low opinion of myself as a teacher. Why? Mainly test scores. Mine are low. Though they would be good at most schools, they are at the bottom as far as Foothill is concerned. I've done what I can to raise them, including observing another Algebra 2 teacher for the entire year last year to see what I was lacking. I learned a lot from that. But when it comes to a choice of applying the hammer or showing grace, I usually take the path of least resistance, which is showing grace. Every year I promise myself to be as tough as everyone else, then wind up a pushover. If a kid can't finish a test during the period, I'll give him/her more time, even though that increases the likelihood of cheating. My kids love me, their parents love me, but my colleagues don't have very high expectations where I am concerned. Thus my low teaching self-image.
I mentioned on my fB page about having dinner last weekend with a couple of members of the Tustin High class of 1980, one of whom I didn't know at the time, and another who was one of my favorites. This caused me to go looking back through some old yearbooks to remember what they looked like then, and the byproduct of that has been that my stock has risen in my own eyes. Naturally, some of the things were written by kids I honestly don't remember. But there were some very special things written by kids of either gender that reminded me why I got into teaching in the first place. Probably the most common phrase was, "You were more than my teacher, you were my friend." As I enter the last 3 months of this career, it is impossible to convey to you the meaning those words hold for me. So much of we do in education is not quantifiable, thus my frustration with being judged by test scores. Most of my former students are "successful" and it is impossible to tell how much of that was because of me and how much was in spite of me. But those yearbook scribblings, written up to 35 years ago, remind me that, "With all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right." As the years go by, memories of those test scores will fade for everyone, especially me. But I have 36 yearbooks to remind me of why I followed the path I believe God chose for me. And that doesn't include those of you who were in my Sunday School classes yet continue to speak to me!
I'm excited about the next phase of my life, serving my tax clients, deepening my involvement and service in my new church, adoring my family, traveling with Jan, and maybe even returning to coaching just for fun. But with the help of FB I have reconnected with about 300 former students now. They are my legacy. They tell me I made a difference. What more can anyone ask? (Oh, yeah, higher test scores!).