No blues at this car wash

Saturday was Jeff and Jen's 11th Anniversary, but Jeff was playing guitar at church so they couldn't celebrate until today. So they dropped the girls off with us at lunch at Azteca, and then went off to celebrate. We had the girls until about 3:30, and then Jan and I headed out for our end-of-the-year choir party. Jan decided that both of our cars were greatly in need of a wash (the word she used was "filthy"), and my math brain realized I could save $40 by doing them myself. She then enlisted the girls to help, they being young enough to still believe washing cars is fun.

(The picture to the left is a reenactment using a standin grandchild. No labor laws were violated while filming.)

Jolie helped with my car. She soaped everything below window level, and I had the high parts. Drying held the same responsibilities. Jeslyn came in at this point and the only job left was to wash the rims. It was obvious that this job was beneath her. So then we started on grandma's car. Jolie took the port side below the windows, Jeslyn the starboard. The main topic of conversation during this time was their criticism of mama birds for failing to potty train their children. When we finished, they came to 3 conclusions why the "old-fashioned" method of washing cars is superior to a professional carwash: 1) This way is much more fun 2) This way is free (definitely grampa's girls) 3) This way is quieter.
Grandma was suitably impressed with our work, finding fault only with the top of her car--which of course was my responsibility. Jolie then proceeded to wipe down the stair rails to our back door (definitely daddy's girl), and wanted other fun stuff to do. I showed her how to use the dustbuster to vacuum the inside of my car, feeling more like Tom Sawyer with each passing moment. So, paying to have your car washed in the OC: $20. Washing it yourself with the help of your grandchildren--a priceless preview of retirement.

One final note. When it comes to debate over the holiest form of washing cars, I am definitely an advocate of sprinkling over immersion.

The Ultimate Compliment

I often eavesdrop on student conversations in class. This morning the kids in my 3rd period were making not-so-complimentary comments about the personal hygeine of another teacher. I asked, "What do you guys say about me when I'M not around." One boy said, "You are one of our coolest teachers, Mr. Falk. We'd rather have you than a sub." The ultimate compliment. I think.

Amazed by God--Again!!

I wonder if there will ever come a time in my life when I cease to be amazed by the hand of God in my life. I hope not. Had another instance of that last night, and I want to point out ahead of time that I am bragging on God, not me.

I had a friend invitation on facebook from a girl whose name I didn't recognize, but since girls have a tendency to change their names and I can use all the friends I can get, I confirmed the friendship. The picture didn't ring a bell. I hate it when that happens. She had asked if I was the only former Tustin teacher on facebook, and I replied that I hadn't seen any others. I then asked if she was using her maiden name on facebook, and what year she graduated, pleading a senior moment. What I really was saying, was "Help me remember you." Here is a paraphrase of her reply: "I am using my maiden name, I graduated in 1983. I never had you for a class, but was in the school's Christian club when you were the sponsor. You were always very nice to me at a time when I was very much picked on by other students." We then chatted for about an hour or so.

I hope I can convey in words the emotion I was feeling at the time. Apparently God used me as a source of comfort for her at a time in her life when she needed comforting. I had no idea. I thought of the sermon series our high school pastor Scott Martin is presenting about the early church. One of the things that came to mind is Scott reminded us that when we determine to represent God, his Holy Spirit will put the words in our mouth. I have always thought of that in an evangelistic setting, but I think this is a different type of example. The emotion comes from the realization that through this voice from a quarter century ago, God was telling me what I need to hear. See, I'm a couple of weeks from retirement. I really don't think my light shined as bright as it could have these past 36 years. Apparently I was wrong, and God knew I needed to hear that. From our conversation during the next hour she made it clear that she had many friends with the same memories of me.

It was a time of joy for me, and a time of reflection. A boost for my ego in this area in case it takes a hit in another. But it wasn't me, it was all God's timing. For reinforcement, there was another note from a 1986 student who said, "I knew you were a Christian. I became a believer in 1991."

We hear all the time about how God is being legislated out of our schools. Why does that upset us? If we know anything about church history, we know that times of oppression are when God shows His power the most. I just laugh now instead of getting upset at the people who think they can make God illegal. He uses those times to most dramatically demonstrate His power.

"Let your light so shine before men that they can see your good works and glorify your father in heaven." God reminded me yesterday of the truth of that verse, and He did it in just the way I needed.

Working on Worship

This is the image I want to project when I
lead worship. "Unless you come to me as a little child, you will not enter my kingdom." I want to project the childlike joy we should all feel when we worship our Creator. However....

This is the image I feel like I project when I am part of the worship team. Kind of makes you want to clap your hands and jump for joy, doesn't it? Our church is growing swiftly, and the number of people who have become part of the worship team has grown also. So, we got an e-mail this week saying all of us were going to audition again, in the interest of a consistent worship experience from week to week. That got me to thinking, "Why do I want to be a part of that?" Didn't like my answers. I have a competent voice, can pick out harmony rather easily, and really love doing it. But, if the picture above is even close to accurate, am I adding or detracting from the worship experience of the congregation? I have never been a demonstrative worshiper, but if I am to remain in front, I have to at least to be able to make it obvious to the congregation that I am worshiping. I can't lead them in something I'm not doing myself. In truth, the answer to my question was that I enjoyed the attention it brought from my new church friends. But if I do it right, I shouldn't be the object of their attention, right?

So I'm going to be doing a lot of this between now and auditions. I've done some already, and this morning during communion I turned the whole situation over to God. I'd really love to continue to be a part of the team, because I love the people who lead and with whom I sing, but it needs to be with a changed attitude. If I'm told the team needs more than I have to offer, it will be a blow to my ego, but I can say I am at peace with that possibility. Worship leaders need to be what their name suggests.

Annual Visit to the 60s

Since this is near the end of the school year, the US History classes have finally gotten around to studying the '60s. In what has become a rite of spring, they are assigned to find a relic from the 60s and interview them. Today was my day. I had a young man interview me in 0 period and I have another coming in at lunch. They usually ask such penetrating questions as "What was it like in the sixties?", but today's contained a couple I hadn't heard before.

When we get started I usually pull out my memorabilia that I keep on hand for such occasions. I have two magazines with Kareem on the cover when he was still known as Lew Alcindor. I have my 1968 Rose Bowl program with OJ on the cover--don't show that one as often as I used to. And my favorite, the original program from the Monterey Pop Festival, in June of 1967. This was the precursor to Woodstock, a 3-day music festival containing many of my favorite groups. You may have heard of some of the groups we listened to that weekend: The Animals, The Association, Simon and Garfunkel, Janis Joplin, The Beach Boys, The Byrds, Moby Grape (my favorite group name of all time), Otis Redding, Buffalo Springfield, Mamas and Papas (my favorite 60s group), Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendris and The Who.

Anyway, a couple of questions that caused me to stop and think:

"What was your favorite year in the 60s?" I originally chose 1963, because that was the year the Dodgers swept the Yankees in the World Series, and at that time my life revolved around baseball even more than it does now. Then I realized Nov 22, 1963 was the day John Kennedy was shot, which disqualifies 1963 from consideration as a good year. As I scrolled through the other years, the same things happened--highs and lows. Here's a saying that you may want to put on your refrigerator: "Every year has its good and bad points." Brilliant. I finally settled on 1969. When he asked why, I said, "that's when I met my wife."

"Who is the person you remember most from growing up." I figured he probably didn't want to hear about Sandy, the girl who broke my heart many times, and would have continued to do so if my prayers hadn't gone unanswered ("Sometimes I thank God...." thank you, Garth). So I talked about my high school chemistry teacher, Mr. Goehring. When he asked why Mr. Goehring, my response was, "because he cared more about me than what I learned in his class--which was plenty." If you ask the thousands of kids he taught, they would answer the question the same way. I told him, when you see me teach, you see Mr. Goehring. Two things that have really become a part of my daily routine. When he would make a mistake on the chalkboard (ask your grandparents if you don't know what a chalkboard is), and we pointed it out, his response was always, "Just seeing if you were paying attention." And, if a concept was something we just had to learn and not necessarily understand why it worked, he would say, "You understand this is over my head at this point." I've always been honest with my kids when teaching what I call "math magic" a concept that I know works, but haven't the foggiest notion why. I got that from him, and I think kids appreciate the honesty. He made chemistry fun, and I have tried to make math fun. (One reason I'm in math is that for twelve years I tried to make English fun, and did, and my "elders" were convinced English wasn't supposed to be fun).

For years, when I would go home to a basketball or football game, he would be taking tickets, and when he saw me, for those few minutes I was the only person in his life. So, my former students, when you wax nostalgic about the enjoyment you had in my classes, breathe a prayer of thanks for Mr. Goehring.

Gotta go. First bloodwork for my physical on Monday, then thinking up creative responses to "What was it like in the 60s?" from my noon interviewer.

PS. This just in: Make that my 10 o'clock interviewer and my noon interviewer.

Jon & Kate--Who cares?

I don't watch a lot of reality TV. Other than "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" the reality shows hold no interest for me at all. When I watch EMHE I know I'm going to get a happy ending. Call me shallow, but I don't need to watch what often is a look into other people's misery. Or infidelity. Or ruthlessness. Or arrests. My friend Kristi just blogged on the apparently impending demise of the marriage of Jon and Kate, another show I don't watch and could tell you nothing about. Apparently they are putting their kids in front of each other, and that is a recipe for disaster. I have been guilty over the years a few times of putting my relationship with Jen and Tim before my relationship with Jan, always with disastrous results. Even worse were the times I put other people's children (0ften my athletes) in front of all 3. Someone very smart once said, "The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." So that's what I try to do.
In addition to the things Kristi pointed out, one other truth seems evident to me--marriages were not meant to be lived in the spotlight. That's not exactly a "stop the presses" revelation. But here are these two seemingly nice people, who have children they love, all the money they need, a new house and yet it's not working. I think of the young couples I have gotten to know in our church, all of whom are missing at least one of the things J & K have. Their history includes houses they can't sell, foreclosures, living from paycheck to paycheck, job-induced separation, and unanswered prayers to start a family. What DO they have that J & K don't have? An obvious and unashamed desire to be with each other. When they are separated, their FB posts are full of "waiting for him/her to get home." They look forward to being reunited. Homes like J & K look forward to separation.
Here's a challenge--name a successful marriage that includes one or both spouses frequently on the cover of tabloids. If Jan and I have a disagreement, the chances of resolution increase exponentially with the number of people who know about it. Every time we have sought 3rd-party counseling--including pastors--more problems were created than solved. In "The American President" the climactic scene includes Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas) saying, "America isn't easy." My paraphrase would be either, "Marriage isn't easy,", or, better yet, "Without God, marriage is impossible." He's the only 3rd party that has worked for us.
So, my unsolicited advice to Jon & Kate? Kick the cameras out of the house. Return your marriage to a relationship, not a performance. At that point, whether your marriage makes it or fails is nobody else's business. Certainly not mine.
(Thanks to KT for triggering this pontification. Heidi, it's the best I got right now!)

Precious Moments

Got a glimpse of Jan's life yesterday. Got home about 3:30, just in time to console Jolie (9) who has decided she doesn't like going to dance class on Thursdays. Jan had a hair appointment, so I then went and picked up Jeslyn from ESP, came home so she could change into her gymnastics gear, then drove her to her gymnastics class at 4:30. On the way I discovered there are no green lights between our house and SCATS, about 8 miles away. Dropped Jes off, picked up Jolie who had survived dance class and brought her home. Jeff picked her up about 5:30. Jan gets tired of these "chores" from time to time, because it brings back the days of parenting young ones, when their schedule supercedes yours (if you do it right). But those couple of hours were not without precious little memories for me.

1. When I picked up the previously miserable Jolie, she took my hand as we walked to the car and said, "Thanks for picking me up, grampa." Unspoken, but felt, was, "I'm sorry I was so upset before, because I know you get upset, too, when I'm unhappy."

2. When I picked up Jeslyn, she surprised me by saying, "I'm marking my calendar, grampa, and you only have 25 days left of school." She's 5. She's not really excited FOR me in my impending retirement, she's excited because I'll be able to pick her up most days after first grade, and I won't be stuck at a game or a meeting that would cause me to miss all of my grampa time. I'm going through a "good grampa" stage at this time, and she seems to cherish every minute she gets to spend with me. I plan to wide that wave for as long as it lasts!