Just the Other Night.......

I have reconnected with many of the kids I taught and many of the people who grew up with me, through Facebook, and it seems to be one reward after another. But there are a few people who were very pivotal for me that I'm still hoping will wind up on my facebook list. One is the point guard I coached who was in Jennifer's class and I know is in Long Beach somewhere but as far as I know is not on facebook.. Well, last night through a friend referral, I reconnected with the girl who was probably responsible for 90% of the drama in my life between the ages of 17-20. I was convinced that I had found the girl with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Problem was, most of our interaction involved working out her problems with her boyfriend at the time, a boy that always seemed to be among my best friends. We wrote often during that time, while she was still home and I was in Pasadena, and one of our conventions was to insert the name of the song title that was playing while we were composing the letter. (Example: "So I had ("Monday, Monday") breakfast this morning."). I held onto those letters for a long time after we were married, not to Jan's detriment, but to preserve a historical record of some of the major events of my young life.
Then I met Jan, we got engaged and married, and this young lady wound up getting married a short time before we did. After that we pretty much lost touch, except for a couple of run-ins at hometown (Central California) events. Once cliche says you never forget your first love, and every time I went to the town where I grew up, there was usually an event or location that took me back to those bittersweet years. When Garth Brooks finally got around to singing, "Unanswered Prayers," I realize that song pretty much summed up my feelings.
There is a certain amount of irony in that we are going through a series at church entitled, "I have a Friend Who...." and the 5th in that series will be one about not believing in answered prayer. We probably all know people who are bitter towards God because their prayers have gone unanswered, or at least not answered to their specifications. The Garth song reminds us that the unanswered ones can be one of His greatest gifts. A union of this young lady and me would have probably been an unmitigated disaster. "I look at my wife, and then and there I thank the good Lord for the gifts in my life."
So, even though I really don't have the desire to know what my life would have been like if this girl had felt the way I did, she was a big enough part of my life for me to want to know, "how she turned out." Well, now I know, and the answer appears to be, "very well, thank you."
She and her husband are still married, which means they are also approaching their 40th anniversary this year, they have a 2-year-old grandson who, strangely enough, appears to be the light of their life.
In all my wildest dreams, I never thought our lives would get reconnected to the point where we would be sharing stories and pictures of our grandkids. Thanks, again, facebook--and to her classmate Gayle who let me know as soon as she was on facebook.
They say that if you truly love someone, then their happiness is every bit as important as your own. Well, I'm ecstatic that her life has turned out so well. And I'm sure she feels the same way about mine.
(For you who know your 60s music, she was the girl "with sunlight in her hair.")

They Can't Take That Away

We had one of those times tonight when both girls had an event and there was no way we could attend both. Jolie was singing in a district 4th grade performance at her school, and Jeslyn had her first night as a member of the competition gymnastics program at SCATS. Originally I was going to take Jeslyn to gymnastics and Jan , Jen and Jeff were going to watch Jolie sing, but Jan decided to switch because the performance was outside and it was very windy. Jolie told me it was each 4th grade doing their own songs, and I wasn't exactly looking forward to that. She was wrong, as it was about 300 4th graders from all over the Fountain Valley school district who had all learned the same songs. Jolie's school was the host and so they were the last in, and she was right up in front by the microphone where I had a perfect view of her. They started with a rendition of the original "We Are the World" and it touched me deeply, given the lines of the chorus and the multi-ethnic nature of the group. In fact, that song was originally going to be the focus of my comments, that is, until near the end of the program.

They sang "America the Beautiful" and some folk songs, and then there was an announcement that there would be two more songs.

I didn't recognize the next song from the introduction, and took a deep breath when they started, "if tomorrow all the things were gone.....", and just at that moment Jennifer touched me on the shoulder, because she knew how much the song meant to me. My thoughts raced back to the days of September 11, 2001, and the awful events of that day. The following Sunday I was part of a duet that got up in church and sang, "God Bless the USA" and it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. Watching my 10-year old granddaughter sing the song with her classmates was every bit as memorable, if not more, for so many reasons. Just the fact it was public school kids singing "God Bless the USA" was meaningful enough. Also, it was probably my imagination, but it seemed to me that, while Jolie knew all the words and sang fervently on all the songs, she really poured her heart into this one. I don't know if she had been told how much the song meant to Grampa, but it seemed as if she had. I was thankful that I am still close enough to my daughter that she knew and cared how much the song would touch me. I told her that if she made a CD of the event, I would like a copy. And I know if she does, I will get one (putting friends and family on notice, you may be subjected into a viewing of said video).

A couple of months ago, I gave up political comments for lent, and my blood pressure was so grateful that I have continued that practice. But I have no reservations in saying,

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.

And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

And I'll gladly stand up next to you, and defend her still today.

Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land...God Bless the USA.

With thanks to Glenn, Don, Joe and Timothy

Haven't blogged in almost 3 months. The creative juices seem to have beem muted by a variety of things, most notably tax season. Now, 200 tax returns later, it's time to see if I can still do this.

First of all, tax season was amazing. I knew I would enjoy the added income, but I had no idea I would enjoy the interaction with my new clients to the degree that I did. I think I'm going to write a series of blogs on individual clients and the remarkable stories they have.

Since Christmas, we've known how we were going to celebrate the end of tax season. Our kids got us tickets to see the Eagles at Hollywood Bowl, and that was the light at the end of our tax tunnel. We were originally going to the Friday night concert and Jeff and Jen on Saturday, but switched with the when Jeff wound up playing the guitar at church for the weekend. So, Saturday night it was. As it turns out, traffic caused the kids to miss the first half hour of the concert Friday, including "Hotel California", so we vowed to not let that happen to us. We also didn't want to drive back after the concert, so we used points to book a room at the Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood, which overlooks Hollywood Boulevard and is about a half mile from the bowl. That also solved our parking problem, since there is a shuttle to the bowl that departs from the back side of the hotel.

We left about noon on Saturday, and had lunch at the Northwoods Inn. This was a nostalgic trip for us--when we lived in Pasadena, the NI in San Gabriel was our special date place, and the one in La Mirada helped us bring back some memories. Got to the hotel about an hour earlier than check in, but since we are such "high rollers" with Marriott, we were checked in. Our room looked down at the Kodak (Academy Awards) Theater and we could also see Disneys El Capitan Theatre with many limos parked in front for the premiere of "Oceans".

Boarded the shuttle around 6, got there and seated about an hour early for the concert. Jan read her paperback while I people-watched, but never spied anybody famous!

Starting with their a capella "There are Stars in the Southern Sky", the Eagles then treated me to 3 1/2 of the greatest hours of my life. They sang many songs from their new "Long Road out of Eden" CD, and nearly all of their old ones. It appeared my favorites were also the most popular with the crowd as a whole. I think one of the most special things was that they didn't try to trick up their classics with new arrangements. (I found myself thinking of Rick Nelson's "Garden Party", when he talks about how unpopular his Madison Square Garden concert was because he didn't play any of his old stuff, and concluded that "if you can't please everyone then you got to please yourself). All of the songs sounded just as they did when originally recorded--only better. "Hotel California" started with a haunting trumpet solo intro, but it was faithful enough to the original so that all in the crowd knew what was coming. "Lyin' Eyes", my second favorite, was apparently written in two days as they watched some of the patrons of the club they were playing in 1975. Which points out another thing I liked--they basically played and sang, without the need to introduce the details behind the writing of each song.
Despite Glenn Frey's jokingly welcoming us to the Eagles "Assisted Living Tour" it was obvious that all were still at the top of their game, both vocally and musically. We heard Joe Walsh's hits also, and he was very much a crowd favorite. There was video backup for many of the songs, and they had for the most part been put together with some thought, tho there were a couple that appeared to have video for video's sake alone. The best videos were probably the ones for "Boys of Summer," and "Dirty Laundry".
All in all, it was as close to a perfect night as it could be. The only thing that could have made it better would have been a little more space to sit than the sardine-like confines of the Bowl's bleachers. The only thing I could think of that they didn't sing were the Glenn Frey songs from his Miami Vice period ("You Belong to the City", etc) and they didn't sing "Get Over It" from Hell Freezes Over. They finished around 10:30, came back for the obligatory encore and played right up until the 11 oclock curfew. They had saved "Take It Easy," for that, along with another Joe Walsh guitar extravaganza. Finally, the guy next to Jan said, "I can't think of anything they haven't sung." I said, "the concert's never over until the 'fat lady' sings "Desperado"." Sure enough, Don Henley closed the night with that traditional classic ending.
I sometimes forget this fact, but remember it every time I make it to a concert by the great ones: The staying power of a great musical group is not based on what they do in the studio, but the way they are able to entertain in a live performance. The Eagles 35-year run underscores that truth.
It was nice to be able to just go to the hotel on the shuttle and not drive the 1 hour home that night. We checked out about 9 this morning, in time to make it home to the 1030 service at the best church in Orange County. That's also a pretty good "live" experience.

These pictures didn't turn out the way I had hoped, so blame the existing gaps in my computer literacy. I decided to talk a little about the "new" Anne Rice, for those of you who haven't followed her recent life.

A couple of years ago, I came across the book, "Christ the Lord, Out of Egypt", by Ms. Rice. My original thought was, "Oh, great, now Jesus was a vampire grappling with his sexual identity." For some reason, I read the author's notes before I bought the book. She described herself as a lapsed Catholic, who always knew she would write a book about Jesus. Her original intent was to investigate and write a book to justify her lost faith. She discovered that much of the so-called "higher criticism" was as biased as any research she had ever seen. She continued her research and finally wrote this statement: "I finally concluded that Jesus was who He said He was." Consequently, she returned to the church, persuaded her atheist husband to renew their vows in the church, and began her new journey.

I'm sure she was a great writer before, but her subject matter didn't really interest me. Not so any more. The first book, "Out of Egypt," is told through the eyes of the 12-year-old Jesus. Much is what Protestants would consider apochryphal (in the first chapter, he kills one of his playmates and brings him back to life!), but it's a great portrayal of the One who was wholly man and wholly God. He's struggling with identity as any 12-year-old would, and I just was constantly blessed by the book.

The second, "Road to Cana" was an account of his life leading up the the wedding in Cana where he performed his first recorded miracle, the changing of water to wine. One story line is again one that some will have trouble with, for a young lady in Nazareth was in love with him and he with her. He had to ultimately leave her to fulfill his calling, but this story line kind of validates the scripture that states, "He was tempted in EVERY way...." How can he relate to the temptations that are common to all if he didn't experience them in his human body?

She has apparently written an autobiography of her spiritual re-awakening (the title escapes me at this point), but her 3rd work of fiction is one I am reading now, and even though I'm only a few chapters in, it's already my favorite. It's called "Angel Time" and it's the story of a contemporary 28-year-old contract killer who is given the opportunity by an Angel to use his skills to rescue rather than kill. That's all I've read so far, but the insight into the thought process of God's messengers has been very enlightening. I posted this quote on my FB status, and I want to do it again here. He's invited Toby (the killer) to help him, Toby hasn't made his decision yet, and Malchiah, the angel, says, "Let me make it clear: because I choose a mortal for my purposes, that does not mean the mortal is going to agree to come with me. Finding such a one as Toby is hard enough, persuading him to come with me is even harder. You'd think it was irresistable, but it's not. People swindle themselves out of Salvation with great regularity." (italics mine). What a great picture of the doctrine of free will. God loves us all, but doesn't demand that we love him back.

I usually read when I go to a restaurant, but I've decided to leave this book at home, to read it without any distractions, less I miss some of the best it has to offer. I have fluffier books to take with me when I'm just looking to have something to do while eating.

So, if you've seen the new Anne Rice books but have had doubts about reading them, let me put them to rest. She reaffirms the cornerstones of the Christian faith: God loves you, sent His Son to die for you, and will go to any lengths to bring you home. If you decide to pick up one of the books, prepare to be blessed.

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, tomorrow I'm turning Sweet 61 (selective dyslexia on my part). Currently I'm sitting in the kitchen of Jeff and Jen's new house, babysitting for them with Jan so they can shop and not have whiny kids dragged along with them. Jan is in the TV room honing up on her Beatles Rock Band skills, while I've been watching delivery room updates on FB from my friends Heather and Darren as they await the birth of their first child. We had breakfast this morning with 5 of our dearest friends, and the birthday wishes have been pouring in on facebook from new and old friends. Can life get any better? I've decided that it can indeed. For example:

Alicia, Joe, Amber, Angel, Brent, Billy, Laurel, Austin, Tamila, Aaron, Travis, Bob, Diane, Bonnie, Brandon, Sarah, Chelsea, Cody, Evie, Cindy, Scott, Connie, Bruce, Curtis, Kristi, Haley, Lexi, Dan, Martha, Dave, Dave, Dave, Heather, Don, Lyn, Elizabeth, Dave, Heidi, Kurt, Hope, Jack, Irene, Robert, Jessica, Jennifer, Joel, John, John, Jolene, Jon, Jordan, Kasey, Kevin, Kirk, Lilian, Mandy, Josh, Steven, Jagger, Michele, Dave, April, Paula, Sammy, Phyllis, Robbie, Scott, Tamra. These are the names of my facebook friends that I didn't know 2 years ago, just from my church. That doesnt' count the number of students I have reconnected with, who are part of my life again. I used to have a poster in my room with a quote from Bob Dylan: "He who isn't busy being born, is busy dying." I understand that so much more now than I did when I hung it up.

This spring I will be meeting close to 200 new tax clients, bequeathed to me by my retiring friend Don. We have a chance to go on a mission trip to Chile this summer, and have already booked a 40th anniversary Alaska cruise for August.

All our lives, we have friends who we say, "Can't wait to see them again." At this point in my life, I really have nothing stopping me from doing just that.

My sister once told me that I have trouble meeting new people, and for much of my life that was true. I don't know how, but that has changed so much that I actually think I would enjoy being (gasp!!) a GREETER at church.

So, while my life is better than it has ever been, I am struck by the thought that it is far better than I ever dreamed it COULD BE. So, logically, it is possible that it could get even better. I can't wait to see how God can make that happen. Especially with me asking all the time, "Why me?"

"Looking Good"

December means basketball tournament season at our house, and even though I'm retired, I'm assisting Jeff with his Cypress team, and this week we are in the Orange Optimist Tournament, being held, logically, in Westminster. This week also marks the 6-month anniversary of my official retirement.
Our first tournament game didn't go well, but I ran into a couple of old friends so the day wasn't a total loss. The first was Tom McCluskey, the coach at Trabuco Hills, and he was the reason the game didn't go well. Tom and I coached at the Tustin High School at the same time. He won a state championship with the boys in 1991, the same year my girls lost in double overtime in the quarterfinals to finish the year 25-4. As Tom and I were talking, he offered this statement: "You're looking good, you seem so relaxed." Before the next game, I spied Mark Lewis, who played for us at Tustin in 1981 when we reached the CIF finals--I was coaching boys then. Mark's son is playing at Laguna Beach High School, and we will play them tomorrow. Mark went on to play at Long Beach State, was City Engineer for Fountain Valley for awhile, and now lives and works in Laguna Beach. During the course of our conversation, he offered, "You're looking good, you seem so relaxed." That phrase is also repeated when I visit Foothill High School or the Tustin District office. So I joked to Jan that either I really am more relaxed, or that's just one of the things that's easy to say to old people. She said, "The last couple of years you taught, your brow was almost always creased." Wow, I didn't realize that, but if the change is so evident to so many people it must be true. I'm still getting used to being retired, still trying to master the idea that if I don't feel like doing anything, I don't have to (once I do master that idea, I'll be ready for my next career as a politician).
But was I really that miserable my last few years on the job? I started thinking of my facebook friends who are teachers, and some of their most recent posts. So many of them are counting the days until Christmas Vacation, rather than counting the days until Christmas. All of them are recognized as good teachers, and if you asked them, they would say there is no job they would rather have. Yet, for as much as they like their job, they seemingly cannot wait to not be doing it. My explanation for that feeling is this: With all of the outside input they receive on how to do their job, and the pressure to perform on standardize tests, much of the joy of the profession is neutralized. I have a friend who teaches at private school who said the last 2 days before vacation would be taken up with student parties. Such things are not allowed at public school--reminders are given before every date where there is danger of a party breaking out--and I really think the possibility of building relationships with kids, especially those in need of a significant adult role model, is sacrificed at the altar of testing. I know this is a recurring soapbox of mine, but being out of the profession for 6 months has not lessened the depth of my feeling on this subject.
So, what will the next 6 months hold? Well, the end of basketball season will be followed by tax season. Also--I'm going to occasionally substitute teach. I will be really interested to see if I really enjoy it, just being with kids, minus the pressure of performing. And, when I run into a former student on campus, I would much rather hear, "You're looking good, so relaxed," than, "Hey, Mr. Falk, I got Advanced on my Algebra 2 State Test."

Report Card

I've been asked by a friend to blog about my impressions of our president after nearly a year in office. Actually, I need to thank my conservative friends, not for their efforts to "enlighten" me about how evil President Obama is, but rather for putting into the spotlight how un-Christian my behavior towards George W. Bush. I feel rather hypocritical for emphasizing Romans 13 to my Christian conservative friends for this president, while basically ignoring that part of the Bible for the last 8 years.
I am not as enamored with the president now as much as I was when he first took office. It really is expecting too much of any person to carry through as much hope and change as he was proposing. At first the attacks on his office made me very angry, but at some point I realized he didn't need me to defend him, and friendships are more important than politics. I would suspect that the conservatives in my facebook friend list far outnumber the liberals, but if I had to choose between losing their friendship and becoming conservative, I would choose the latter. Fortunately, since they are my real friends, they would never ask me to make that choice. Perhaps an analogy would be two lawyers who beat each other up in court, and then go out for a drink afterwards. I must admit that sometimes I "hide" their status for awhile when the hate seems to overflow, but dropping them from my list of friends has never been an option.

Maybe I would make a good politician, as I've managed to fill a couple of paragraphs without really saying anything. I know it's early in his tenure, but I can honestly say I cannot think of a single thing that has happened in Washington the last year that has had a measurable impact on my life, pro or con. This puts him in the same category as nearly every president that I can remember. Probably the biggest personal impact came from GWB, for spearheading No Child Left Behind, and it was for that that he earned my antipathy. To me that was big government at its worst. I do have a conservative friend who says that Bill Clinton was actually more of a conservative than GWB, and NCLB would seem to support that statement. If I were still teaching, President Obama might actually make me angrier, in that he is a proponent of merit pay for teachers, again believing education can be measured by test scores. Following that logic, Foothill teachers deserve more than Century High School teachers because of their test scores, and there is no logic in that at all. I just don't know how merit pay would work, because all teachers have a different clientele with different abilities. It's interesting to me that President Obama was booed at the ultra-liberal NEA convention, for his stand on merit pay. Hopefully with all the other things on his plate he wont have a change to get around to that one, since I still have many family members who are public school teachers.
The biggest hot button is obviously health care. It looks like his plan will eventually go through, and far more people are talking against it than for it. To me, the argument that makes me the angriest is that people without health care don't deserve it. Conversely, those of us who do have it deserve it. That makes no sense to me. What human being doesn't deserve a chance to be healthy? The classic argument is that all of us do have health care because ERs are required to treat whether the person has insurance or not. The response to that is that many ERs are closing for that reason--they can't afford to stay open and not get paid, nor can we expect them to. So, my stance on that hasn't changed--I believe health care is a right, on the same level as police protection, fire protection, freeways, and other tax-supported institutions. I think I even believe--though I haven't thought this through, that health care is more important than a free public education. I have no problem with my taxes going up if it means health care for more people. I have already been blessed far more than I ever expected to be, and sharing is not distasteful to me. Having said that, I have no problem with those who believe the current proposed plan is not the best answer. And, the truth be told, I don't know enough about it to know if it is good or bad. Since I am now paying almost $700 a month for Jan's medical insurance, a plan that would reduce that is appealing to me.
So there are things about it I don't know. What I do know is that it is nearly impossible to get an unbiased opinion in the media, particularly with those stations who laughingly call themselves "News media." I believe to my core that any time the lips of the two most popular conservative "analysts" move, they are lying. They will say whatever they think their "public" wants to hear, and they are entertainers, period. There is as much hard news in their diatribes as there is in a Jay Leno monologue. (Decided not to use names just in case someone reports me!)
Since we are discussing lying, I cannot help but admit I am greatly disappointed in the falsehoods that have become part of the administration's "new job" figures. When BO spoke today saying that the job loss for November was the lowest since 2007, I didn't entirely believe him. It is no defense that he was just reporting numbers created by his staff. Harry Truman certainly had it right when he pointed out where the buck stops.
I have a friend (who asked for this blog) who pointed out the president's approval rating was down 7 points in the last 3 weeks. I poked him a little, saying I hoped he would report when and if the numbers spiked up. I think all of us are guilty of believing the numbers that support our point of view. Getting back to schools, if you believe public schools are failing, then you believe the comparisons of our test scores with other countries. If you believe, as I do, that teachers have never been better trained than they are today, then you will point out that America is the only country on earth that tests every student, not just those who are on the university track. Kids who "fail" the standardized tests in America at age 16 are kids that would have been weeded out of the system at age 12 in other countries. It's the same with politics. As Art Garfunkel penned almost 50 years ago, "A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest."
As for Afghanistan, I'm not ready to support the escalation of troops. I think it's also a Catch-22 for the president. There are people, some very well-known radio hosts for example, who would actually welcome another terrorist attack on American soil, for then their predictions would be proven right. I think by unofficially declaring war on the Taliban, the president has almost guaranteed another attempt in this county. The only way he can "win" would be to destroy them without any loss of life in America. I don't see that happening, but with all my heart I hope I am wrong. Should we be there? I honestly don't know at this point. The cynic would suggest a closed door deal--"I'll vote for health care if you send more troops to the middle east." Logrolling is alive and well.
Well, there it is. You may never hear a more uninformed and baseless political opinion, but that's all I got right now. If you comment, it probably means you disagree. That's fine. I will still love you. No matter how wrong you are!