Learning to Trust Matthew 6

I can't count the number of times I have turned to Matthew 6:21-33 when I am beset with worries about my life. Just like I can't count the number of times those worries turned out to be groundless. Having said that, I have been oppressed by two worriesome possibilities the last few months, and try as I might, have not been able to put my trust in the words of Jesus when he says, "Do Not Worry."

The first worry had to do with a test that the IRS is now requiring all tax preparers to pass in order to stay in business. Never mind that I've always loved taking tests, that I've always done well, and the last few years of running my own business tells me I am more knowledgable than most guys out there. The worry started when I took some online sample tests, and did not pass any of them. Now, these sample tests were composed by people who wanted me to pay them to help me pass the test, and I realized that they intentionally created impossible, scary scenarios in order for me to fork over my money to them. 95% of the questions on those things were concerning situations I had NEVER come across in my 10+ years of doing returns, yet the nagging thought was, "What if the test is really that hard?" Jan kept reminding me, "It's an open book test, dummy," and there were two major publications available to me while taking the test. But since I inherited the worry gene from my Mom, and allowed myself to dwell on the "what-ifs?", I worried far more than I should have.

The second had to do with my health. A couple of months ago I was shoveling rocks for the side of my house, picked up a load wrong and tweaked my back severely. Despite trips to the chiropractor, doses of anti-inflammatory medicine, hot tubs, ice, electronic stimulation and ultra-sound, my lower back still felt bruised and the pain would radiate to my hip if I stood up for more than 5 minutes. I told Jan, "I am afraid of getting old and being in constant pain." Our bed is very cushy soft, and often I would get up in the morning hurting worse than when I went to bed.

This morning was the test, and I slept little last night, despite laying off caffeine in the afternoon and retiring early. Got to the test site in Lake Forest about 8:30, put all my belongings in a locker (wouldn't even let me take in my watch) and checked in for the test. This testing center was very nice, and apparently administers all kinds of tests. As far as I could tell, I was the only one taking the IRS test. The test was 120 questions with varying point values, and I needed 350 out of 500 points to pass. I had 2 1/2 hours to take the test. After a short tutorial, I began the test. By question #2, I knew my worries had once again been unfounded. The test indeed was about "basic tax law", and over 90% of the questions dealt with familiar situations. So I went through the 120 questions in about 45 minutes without bothering to check the online reference materials available. The program allows you to "mark" questions if you aren't sure of the answers, and then you can go back and review the marked questions. With over an hour and a half left, I had time to research the anwers to questions I had marked. Some I was not able to find in the resource material, in which case I left my original answer as marked. Though I had probably marked 90 questions, I wound up changing fewer than 10 answers. I finished with about a minute to spare, and knew I had passed. One of the neat things about technology is that I had been told I would be notified of pass or fail before I left the center. I checked out, the proctor printed out my results, and all I saw was the word "congratulations" at the top of the page. As a result, I rewarded myself with one of my favorite lunches at Fuddrucker's, which was across the street from the restaurant.

One final note: As I was walking to the car, I noticed that my back/hip no longer hurt. Matthew 6: 21-33.