Answered Prayer

Haven't blogged in a couple of months, probably because it's just easier to write a note on facebook and distribute it that way. But thought I would write at least one more, because quite some time ago I blogged about my mother's situation, her failing health, and our prayers that she would be released from this body and this earth.

Well, got a call from the home about 1:45 this morning saying those prayers had finally gotten answered. She passed away in her sleep with apparently no suffering, so that, too was a direct answer to prayer, and I know she's not suffering now. As with any such news, it doesn't matter how much we prayed for this, and how ultimately it is good, when the event finally happens it is a shock and a loss, and I'm hurting a lot more than I expected.

Finally decided to try reaching my sister about an hour later. She is visiting my nephew Jeff in Seattle, and wound up leaving a voice mail. She called right back and we talked for a few minutes. Turns out she normally turns her phone off at night, but for "some reason" had left it on last night. Mom had been treated for a tooth absess (sp?) last month, but otherwise did not appear to be in immediate danger, though Karen said she showed a little less affect every time she visited. I'm feeling a little guilty in that it's been quite a while since I made the trip to see Mom, with travel this summer. We were planning to go sometime this month, but God had other ideas. We probably won't have a service, but will try to get all the grandkids together and have her and Dad's ashes sprinkled somewhere in the mountains.

Left a message for Tim and he called about 5:30. Again, we hadn't seen much of her in the last few years, but it was not an easy conversation for either of us. Still waiting for a call from Jen, and I still think of the essay she wrote in high school about my getting her out of class in 1988 to tell her Dad had died. By the way, Dad would have been 103 two days before Mom died. Wonder if she was aware of that.

So, I'm a 61-year-old orphan. I got to keep my parents a lot longer than many of my childhood friends, and I am happy for that. I'm happy for Mom, too, that she is rid of this body she had come to despise.

I was planning to make a post on Dad's birthday, and wound up forgetting to do that. I was going to send a letter with Mom's share of costs payment this month, and didn't do that, either. Bad son. I want to say one more time that I love (present tense) my Mom and Dad, am thankful that God gave me to them, and that they both lived long enough to enjoy their grandchildren. Jolie and Jeslyn never met Dad, and probably won't remember much of "Grandma GG". But she lived long enough to have moments of joy with them, and I'll always remember 2-year-old Jeslyn helping to feed Mom her eggs when we visited her at the center.

Though I didn't spend much time with her the last couple of years, I'm thankful my sister found Sierra View home in Reedley. If a loved one has to be put into assisted living, I can think of no place better than this one. They all obviously loved my Mom, even when most of her time was spent being cranky! The nurse that called this morning was personally upset, and she said she had been working there when Mom was admitted many years ago.

Jen just called and I broke the news to her, so the hardest part is over. She could tell I was having a hard time, but her "I love you, Daddy," was just what I needed to get through that phone call.

So, a new life for Mom, and a release for me that hasn't quite come yet, but I know that it will. Now with what time I have left I want to continue to be the man that they taught me to be. They loved me, they loved Jan, they loved my kids, and the best part is that I will see them again.