In My Life

There are no pictures to go with this post, because yesterday was unlike any day so far in this vacation. It was a day short on Kodak moments but long on memory lane and validation. I found myself thinking of the words below, which pretty accurately described my mindset when reflecting on the day.

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

We are staying with cousins in Salem, Oregon, and through facebook I have learned that there are a few former students living in this area. So after lunch yesterday I took some time to visit with them at three different times and locations, and the result was one of the best days in my life.

The first was with Kimberly, a young lady I had in math in the late 80s at Tustin High School, and who graduated in 1990. Through an error in planning on my part, we only had about 15 minutes to chat, but they were rich as she recounted how she wound up in north-central Oregon. Hers is a blended family, having been married for 15 years and having children 13 and 8, plus 3 children that were her husbands from a previous marriage. So she's 37 with a 26-year old stepdaughter. She is able to stay home and has been doing childcare in her home for most of her married life. Since we had such little time, we made plans to get together some more if she is able to come down for her 20th reunion next summer.

Then I met with Terri, who was a 1984 (or 1983?) graduate of THS. Terri's story is quite different. She also was never one of my students, but was a member of the New Life (Christian) Club when I was a faculty sponsor. For whatever reason, she was quite "picked on" in high school, had very few close friends, and had things happen to her in high school that should happen to no one, but unfortunately are quite common. The self-image she developed from that caused pain for her for 20 years after, and she is just now beginning to realize what life has to offer her. She said the reason she "friended" me on facebook was that I was nice to her at a time when very few people were, including those in her own church. She has a daughter who is a sophomore in high school, and is engaged to a man she met 19 years ago who has basically waited all that time for her to be ready to spend her life with him. The story of her life to this point would make a very moving Lifetime movie. We talked for an hour and a half, bound by our familiar experiences and gratitude for God's guidance and protection in getting her to this point in her life. For those of you with a Tustin Meadows background, her dad was known as "Mr 4th of July" and was responsible for starting the tradition of adorning the streetlights of the Meadows with American flags many years ago, and residents have continued that tradition since his death.

Then I met with Barbara and her parents. I only really knew Barbara her freshman year, before the family moved to Oregon in 1983. Her parents were also there, along with her husband, 4-year old daughter and two stepdaughters. Our friendship was forged in tragedy, as the oldest son Jeff was killed on his motorcycle at the age of 19 in 1984, and they had asked me to speak at his funeral. Since then, tragedy has struck again. Barbara's twin brother Barry was murdered in Florida in 1995, and the killers are still at large though the authorities know who they are. Barbara endured being abandoned by her husband when her daughter Reagan was only 10 months old. But she glows as she talks about how God brought David into her life, and the joy the 5 of them have shared in the succeeding years. Her parents, Judy and Richard, were also there, and we had a wonderful time of fellowship together. There is still residual pain for them. I can't imagine outliving any of my children, much less two of them. One of the things I was able to do was to provide them with Jeff's high school transcripts, and also a copy of the eulogy I wrote, which I found while going through stuff getting ready for my retirement party. When we left Judy handed me a Thank You card, which will be a keepsake, and gives me far more credit than I feel I deserve for the role I played in her childrens' lives.

As I look back over this post, I realize it will probably have a pretty small interest level for most of you. It is impossible for me to convey to you the joy that the day in its entirety brought to me. Perhaps if you are a teacher who loves their kids you may understand, especially if you are one of those who look upon your job as one of building lifetime friendships. For me, I met with a very special group of people from my past. My relationship with them when we were younger had a different dynamic in each case. Each of of arrived at this point with a wide difference in the level of pain and heartache we have endured. The common thread? All of them seemed as genuinely happy to see me as I was to see them. All of them see the presence and direction of God in their lives, even when things were at their worst. All are enjoying a time of extreme vitality and happiness at this point, and look upward when giving the credit.

For me personally, it was a continuance of the message I have been getting since I made the decision to retire: "You done good!!" When you are a teacher who is also a Christian, there is always the question of whether you have done enough for your kids and your God. In these cases, at least, it appears the answer was "yes."